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This is just a few words, as mentioned in cover, to whoever concerned, keeping in view of todays scenarios where the most sacred relation, the relation of tying knot and accepting someone life-partner, is getting scary day by day. So, this can be a request note, an advice note, and a questionnaire, depending how you take it.
Here it goes :
लोग क्यों नहीं सुनते तुजुर्बेदारों की?
लोग क्यों वही गलतियां दुहराते हैं?
मजबूरियां होती हैं मोहब्बत से बड़ी,
ये अपने उपर ही क्यों आजमाते हैं?
क्यों ही साथी चुनना है किसी को,
जब आखिर में चुनाव बदल जाते हैं?
जानना काफी क्यों नहीं हो सकता?
क्यों इसके आगे निकल जाते हैं?
पहल होती है जब किसी एक की,
दूसरे क्यों नहीं उसे समझाते हैं?
तकलीफ होती वैसे किसी एक को,
समझदारी क्यों नहीं दिखाते हैं?
मुझे पूछना है मेरे पहचान वालों से,
वो आजकल कहाँ मन लगाये हैं?
जो जानते हैं उनकी प्रेमिकाओं ने,
किसी और के साथ घर बसाए हैं..
जानने खातिर थोड़े ही पूछना है,
उन्हें तो उनके वादे याद दिलाने है,
उन्हें याद दिलाना है उनका दावा,
उन्हें वो उनकी बाते याद दिलाने हैं,
वो जो नहीं देते थे तवज्जो मुझको,
ना मेरी सलाह, न मेरी जरूरत को,
कहते थे "तुम नहीं समझोगे भाई,
ये प्यार, इश्क और मोहब्बत को"
अबकी हारा है मेरे पहचान वालों ने,
अपने पसंदीदा शख़्स को किसी से,
जिसके साथ गुजारनी हो जिन्दगी,
मोहब्बत क्यों नहीं होती उसी से?
नए साथी को क्यों नहीं देते तवज्जो?
क्यों बोझ लगता है ये नया रिश्ता?
क्यों नाजायज रिश्ते सही लग रहे हैं?
छिपके जो हो, आखिर कैसा रिश्ता?
क्या है गलती आखिर नए शख़्स की?
क्यों नहीं मिलता इसे वो एक मौका?
जब तुम्हारा प्रेम इसको मिल सके,
जब कि तुमने पीछे मुड़ के न हो देखा,
उसके बाद भी हृदय में कोई और हो,
जिसके खातिर तुमने आंसु बहाए हो,
जिसके खोने की पीड़ा अभी ताज़ी हो,
जिसके पास तुमने संपर्क बनाए हो,
सोचो क्या बीती होगी इसके मन पे,
नाजायज रिश्ते के खातिर रोने पे,
क्यों फिर से प्रयास नहीं कर सकते?
एक मोहब्बत नाकामयाब होने पे?
वो शख़्स जिसने तुम्हें अपनाया है,
वो तुम्हारे घाव भी भर सकता है,
लेकिन अगर कुरेदते रहोगे हमेशा,
तो फिर वो क्या ही कर सकता है?
The moral is that falling for someone is not strange. The adolescence is the peak period of time where our hormonal sensations are super--active and it can really make anyone fall for someone. But calling it love is really as childish as falling for love. I mean, there is no maturity if you fall for someone, or you call it love. It's just an attraction where you get closer to someone for his/her appearance, behaviour, voice, style or maybe an action.
Maturity is that you are already aware of these attraction game and control yourself. If couldn't control to fall for someone, control not to make him/her know about it. Try your best to keep it to yourself and don't tell anyone about it. If you failed to do this too, try to maintain a friendly relation, and nothing more than this. Don't try to be around him/her all the time. If you can't do this, don't try to make any physical relation. Let it be just a friendly relation. Because the next step breaks the love into lust. If you make any physical relation, there is no love. It's lust. Maybe you don't accept it. But you are making your partner to fulfil his/her target.
Despite you someone can't control to make a physical relation with your partner, there is still a chance. Don't make it again and again. Maybe you once can't resist. But it should never come into your habits. You can't let your partner succeed in his target again and again. Try to maintain a distance from him/her. If not, it can be lethal to you. Because you know these practices are illicit and you are doing it behind the curtain. Just because you are enjoying being in his/her company, it doesn't mean it is right. It's still a crime.
Avoiding such things is maturity, not protecting it, claiming it, and trying to prove it right. Leaving your guardians with no choice is not maturity. Trying to convince your guardians at the cost of losing your life, and without thinking how will it effect the society and what will it cost to the members of your family, is not maturity. How will they feel walking across the crowd. They will blame the members of your family for not looking after you, and not providing enough love that made you wander outside.
It's easy to say "who 4 people?" But ask yourself, don't you know who 4 people? They are the same people who helped you in need. Everything is not your homemade. Count the hundreds and thousands of things which you needed, like cloths, slippers, food, vegetables, spices, groceries, books, pen, and everything. It's still your need. You can't run away from it. When they who provide such items, ask you sour questions, how will you face them?
Don't say stupid things in selfishness. Because such things should not be promoted, instead, it should be suppressed. You must develop such understanding in both of you, that the practices made due to immaturity should be left behind, and try not to repeat. And this will come with ethics. Learn some ethical values so that you can convey it to the future generation.
We are humans. We are not animals or birds. We are different because we have mind and we can distinguish things to be right or wrong. If we fail to decide, we can still take help and guidance from someone close to us. Human life is never about selfishness. It is about "Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam." It means, our happiness lies in the happiness of others. And the word "others" doesn't mean a single person who you love.
I'm not saying that you can't have a past. But I am expecting some maturity when you realise it was not the bright side of your past. And I expect that you forget it like a nightmare. Instead, you just confess your partner when you think it's the right time to confess. He/she may also have a past. But he/she is still ready to accept you leaving his/her past behind. Why are you being stubborn and not ready to leave the past behind? Why are you dragging it to the present and trying to ruin the future of three families. This will ruin the your current partner's family, your family and your past partner's family as well. Ask yourself why are you uncomfortable in confession your past to your partner. Do you really want to confess or let it go. Why are you still in contact with your past partner? Are you planning something worst? Why don't you try to avoid such brutal planning by just saying that you have had in practice with someone and you don't want to loose contact with him/her? Trust me, a confession is the best way to avoid future obstructions in togetherness.
Instead, why don't you try to convince your past partner to stop contacting you? Why can't you accept that was just a mistake? Why don't you leave him/her? Why is it so difficult for you to move on? He/she is there to stand beside you in your difficult time. He/she can support you.
Remember! "Those who look behind, can't walk ahead. Of try, they tend to fall on."
Decision is yours!!!
.jpg "Chand Aur Wo")