The LUDO: Side effects

The Ludo: Side effects

In the previous part of this series, The LUDO: Visual beginning, you came to know that we were already having tensed relationship. Formalities were been integral parts of any type of contacts. But, the most beautiful thing was that it was all in mind. We did not let anyone, standing beside us, know what is going on among us. Neither our families nor our friends knew about the incident of 25th January night. Still, there are some in the circle of closest friends who knew. And it was I who told them, just to seek some help in getting them back normal. My access to some of the members that night was completely denied. Partially denied is wrong because ignorance is also categorized into complete denial.

Stage-1

I had drawn a scene (the cover of previous series) showing the LUDO game we were playing on 25 January night. The drawing was pasted on a wall in my room. It is pasted in front where I can see it, lying on my bed. But for some days back, it started falling with it's top right corner as displayed in first frame in above photo.

Some days back, my family member asked me why I was not talking to my friends as frequently as I used to. I answered them they got busy. They asked if they were busy all the time. And I answered in negative saying that we didn't know the timing when the other would be available to take calls. They asked whether everyone had got busy or some were still there to take calls. I didn't reply.

Stage-2

I was fixing the drawing again and again, but not gluing it. I thought it will be fixed with the remaining glue in it. But with the increasing heat in the room, it was melting and losing it's durability. I again fixed it without applying extra glue and patted at the corner.

That evening I called one of my friends and told him my family was expecting their calls. He said he would try something for that. And the next morning I had a call from one of the not accessible friends. He reached me and stayed until the members of my family saw him present. It was not surprising for me. I knew something like that would happen. We talked normally like we used to do before. Noone could even had a random guess that things were not normal between us. And after eating some food, we left each to his home.

Stage-3

2-3 days ago, I saw 45% of the drawing was hanging and rest 55% was still sticked with the wall. I immidiately fixed it, but without applying extra glue material. And the next morning, it was completely fallen to my computer table.

I was texting with a friend who was there that night. The convo was about a trip plan to Gupta Dham for which I had already denied from joining them. Yet he was trying to convince me. But in try to convince me, our conversation took another turn. I told him he should keep in touch and he asked whether I was in touch with all. I replied in positive. He asked if I had an access to the most inaccessible one. I replied yes but last convo was made days back. He asked why and added if I my number was recharged. I replied in positive saying I should do that when need.

Stage-4

I removed the glue material from the drawing, and applied new and extra glue double tape. Then I pasted the drawing against wall at the same place where it was. Now I can see this again before falling asleep in my room. Every night, the drawing reminds me to think whether I was right or wrong that night of 25th January. And I fall asleep everyday thinking of it withouth reaching on a decision.

This evening, there was an online exam of one of my closest village mate friend. The examination required a system with window 8 and above, webcam, mic, speakers and some more. We hired a laptop from another village mate friend. Minutes after lending us laptop, he called and said he needed it. We returned him the laptop. We literally had no idea who to borrow laptop from. I fished out for some other options, but there was none.

And, I decided to go with the only option I had, to call him. Here, 'him' refers to the same person which I had mentioned above as 'the most inaccessible one' in the context. But it told me busy without even a short ring. I called again but it was still busy.

There are three possibilities when it tells you to be busy without any ring. The first, the phone is already ringing with someone else's call. Either he is calling someone, or someone else is calling him before you. The second, he is busy with someone else with first number and you are trying the second number in his handset. And the third is, you are blocked with the number.

I didn't understand which possibility was applied there on me. I called him again after some times, but it was still busy. And once again like the drawing, fixed myself within a limitation. The drawing always reminds me, before falling asleep, my limitations. Maybe I am still not sure whether I was right or not. But after that night, I had made a mindset how to deal with myself when around people both physically and mentally.

And hence, The LUDO: The Side Effects is concluded. The fall of drawing was the fall of limitations. It should not.